I went over the notes I made on Fr. Dennis Paez’s recollection talk that I previously mentioned. I’d like to include here the myths he dismantled about solo parenting. When our situation gets us down or when we are being stereotyped, it’s important to remember what is real.
1. The single parent is not a failure.
a. Single parenthood is not a closed state. There is still a chance to change it.
b. Children from single-parent families are not necessarily dysfunctional. They can still succeed in life.
2. Single parenting is not a mistake.
a. It may have been a necessity so the children will suffer less emotional damage. If the children continue living in a home where the parents’ relationship is already broken, the kids are caught in the middle. The tragedy will not end there but will seep into their psyche.
b. Single parenting gives the children a chance for a direct and independent relationship with each parent outside of a troubled home.
Fr. Dennis also said men have a harder time to recover because women have more resources and outlets — we cry, we have friends and we know how to pamper ourselves. So solo dads, take your cue from solo moms to shorten your recovery time: Cry in your room if you’re worried about your macho image, talk and spend time with good friends (by good, I mean good influence) and go pamper yourself, too.
This excerpt is taken from The Happy Solo Kit by Lella Santiago.
Photo from Pixabay.com
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