“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.” – General H. Norman Schwarzkopf

I don’t know what your fears are but I know mine. I fear people. I never realized how afraid I am of people. Especially angry people. I hate conflict. So I try to please everybody, which of course is a failed project from the very start. But I’ve learned the hard way that I need to allow myself to feel that fear every time it comes and befriend it. Yes, I feel my fear all the way. Every drop of it. I don’t shoo it away, I don’t escape, I don’t forget about it, I don’t drown it with ice cream and a TV sitcom.

I embrace my fear.

Why? I believe that feelings are symptoms that need to be heard. They carry an important message if we listen to them. Feelings that don’t get heard fuel addictions—whether it is to drugs, alcohol, sex, eating (or not eating), shopping, or materialism . . . You name it and it can be an escape from feeling our unpleasant emotions.

My fears have been teaching me about my childhood traumas, and I’ve begun to accept and love myself. Accepting my brokenness has made me a healthier human being.

But guess what I do after I feel my fears.

I do the right thing anyway.

My emotions are my best friends, not my cruel masters.

In my decision making, I still follow my highest values— not my noisiest emotions.

As a leader, I have made tough choices. Some of these choices were unpopular: reprimanding an employee, reorganizing a department, writing about a very sensitive topic that may offend some people . . .

Thinking about the potential anger, the conflicts, and the negative outcome stirs up fear like volcanic lava gurgling in my gut. It is overwhelming. Everything within me is screaming: Don’t do it! You’ll create conflict! People will not like you!

But I do it anyway.

And every time, I thank God I did.

Embrace your fears but do it anyway.

*This excerpt was taken from the book “Simplify” by Bo Sanchez. Available in paperback and e-book copy at www.feastbooks.ph.

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