Let marriage be held in honor among all.
— Hebrews 13:4
6 WRONG REASONS TO PUSH THROUGH WITH MARRIAGE
By Bo Sanchez
One day, a guy rode a cab. The ride went well until the cab driver sped through a red light. The passenger asked, “Why didn’t you stop? It was a red light!”
The cab driver said, “Don’t worry. My brother Manding always does this and nothing happens to him.
A few minutes later was another stop light. And again, the cab driver drove through the red light. The passenger said, “I really don’t like it when you do that!
It’s dangerous!” The cab driver said, “Relax. My brother Manding always does this and nothing happens to him.”
And then they approached a green light, and the cab driver stopped. The passenger asked, “Why are you stopping? It’s a green light!”
The taxi driver said, “Are you kidding me? My brother Manding might be passing through!”
Here’s my message for you today: Be careful.
In the last chapter, I talked about the Red Lights that tell you that you need to make a full stop in your relationship. In my book, I talked about the Eight Kinds of Jerks and Jerkettes that you need to totally avoid. Addicts. Abusers. Chronic Liars. Nut cases. Violent Villains.
Some people, like that cab driver, still drive through the red light and push through with the wedding despite knowing this. Why? Because of the following wrong reasons…
- I might be single forever.
It’s the last bus syndrome. A woman told me, “Bo, I think this guy might be my only chance to get married.”
Remember the joke about what women want in a man? Women in their twenties want a man who is handsome, intelligent, and rich. Women in their thirties want a man who is intelligent and rich. Women in their forties want a man who is rich. Women in their fifties just want a man.
But that’s not reality. Because marriage is not the secret of happiness. I remember talking to a guy who told me, “My wife and I have been happy for 25 years. And then we met.”
If marriage is for you, your bus will come. Last month, my friend sent me a wedding invitation. She’s 57 years old.
But the marriage bus is not your only trip to happiness. So if the marriage bus doesn’t come, get a cab, or Uber, or ride a plane. There are many ways to happiness. I have a battalion of single friends who want to get married but they’re extremely happy with their lives and won’t have it any other way. If they don’t get married, they’ll be disappointed but that won’t stop them from living life to the max.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: It’s better to remain single than to be married to the wrong person.
- I don’t want to hurt him.
One guy told me, “Bo, my girlfriend loves me very much. She said she’ll kill herself if I leave her.”
That’s not love; that’s blackmail. (It’s now syndicated blackmail because it’s so common. I’ll be a rich guy if I get one peso for every man or woman who’s told me this line.)
Usually, the reason they give me for staying in the relationship is, “He needs my help. If I won’t help him, who will?”
My answer: Romantic partners, because of the complications involved, are not the best helpers. Pray to God to send others to help him. He will.
- Everybody expects us to get married.
I remember a girl telling me, “It’s so embarrassing if we break up. Because the entire office knows that we’re a couple.” I told her, “Your officemates are not getting married to your boyfriend. You are.”
I know of a woman who, one week before the wedding day, cancelled her wedding. The wedding gown was ready, the reception was paid for, and the invitations were sent out. And it wasn’t the case of just marriage jitters. She actually discovered that there was something wrong with the guy. And she had the ability to say, “No, I don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life.”
- Marriage will make him better.
Nope, it won’t. Marriage is a magnifying glass. It will magnify what’s already in him or in her.
Remember what I said: What is will be.
The time to solve major character problems is before the wedding, not after.
- We did “it” already.
You can’t correct a mistake with another mistake. If you fall, you don’t stay lying down in the dirt. You stand up, brush yourself, and walk on.
- I’m pregnant.
A priest once told me, “Many young couples no longer say, ‘I do,’ but, ‘I did.’ Because the bride is already pregnant. And 100 percent of the time, I tell them, ‘Don’t get married now. Stop rushing. You’ve rushed the pregnancy already. Don’t rush the wedding.
Wait for the birth of the child. Think about it seriously.’”
Ninety percent of teenagers who rush into marriage because of a pregnancy don’t work out.
This excerpt is taken from How to Avoid Jerks and Jerkettes… So You Can Find God’s Best, the newest book by National bestselling author, Bo Sanchez.
Photo from pixabay.com
WARNING: Some of the stuff you’ll learn here will be tough. It won’t be easy to swallow. But a little pain today is better than a lot of pain.
Many marriages end up broken today. Or they stay together but are miserable together. Is there a way to make marriage beautiful forever? Bestselling author and international speaker Bo Sanchez believes there is. He says that the most important way of saving a marriage is before it starts.
In this book, you will learn:
- 8 Red Lights that tell you the person you’re dating is a jerk
- The one thing that is more important than compatibility
- 6 Wrong Reasons to push through with the marriage
- And many, many more!
ARE YOU READY TO LEARN HOW TO MEET THE RIGHT ONE?
ARE YOU READY TO “BE” THE ONE?
GET YOUR COPY OF BO SANCHEZ’S LATEST BESTSELLER, HOW TO AVOID JERKS AND JERKETTES… SO YOU CAN FIND GOD’S BEST!
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Photo credit: http://piccsy.com/2011/05/reading-8ozcw6p11/ through vi.sualize.us