It’s been almost two years now since my wife left home. She left January 15, 2007 supposedly to look for work because at that time I didn’t have a job. Since then she hasn’t returned, although we keep in touch through text and I call her every now and then. She doesn’t want to come home. She says she’s happy now.
Let me backtrack a bit so you can get a better picture. First, our ages are far apart. She was 18 when we got married; I was 34. I met her when she was working as a guest relations officer (GRO) in a bar. For some reason, I was drawn to her and I promised to myself to get her out of that kind of job. Three months later, my dad’s pastor friend wed us in non-Catholic rites. My wife is a non-practicing Iglesia ni Kristo.
Since we got married, she hasn’t gone back to her job. Trouble is, she still entertains text mates from her old job. When she went to her province for a vacation in May-June 2006, she met a guy on her flight and they became text mates. One day, I found that the guy was texting “I love you” to her, so I confronted her with it. She was firm in saying that he’s only a text mate and they haven’t met. I wasn’t convinced and called the guy and told him that his text mate is married. I found out that my wife did not inform the guy that she is married, and the guy wouldn’t believe as well. Nothing else came out of that, until she left home in January 2007. My hunch is that she went off with him, though I have not confirmed this. The guy did admit to our maid that they met twice already prior to her leaving home.
Last year, she promised three times that she’ll come home and each time she broke that promise with some excuse. She told me she’s back to her old job, though I have not verified this either.
I am not amenable to annulment or legal separation. I still firmly believe she will return home and that God will give her the grace of a clear mind to make the right decision. However, how long should I wait, or am I just waiting in vain? Sometimes I wonder if I am wishing for something that may not happen.
I admire you. From your letter, you seem to be a decent guy. Nowadays, we hear about husbands who leave behind their families or are unfaithful to their wives. Yet, here you are — your wife has left you and still seek her out and continue to convince her to return.
Do not nag her about coming back. Continue to just let her know that you love her and reassure her that you are willing to take her back. Believe that as you pray for her, God is working in her life and that she will change her mind and go back to you. If after giving her the assurance that you are willing to start again, and she still acts otherwise, then it’s time for you to move on with life and work on the annulment.
Words of caution, though: Make sure that when you take her back it will be a new chapter in your lives — that should you have quarrels in the future (as couples sometimes do), you will never harp on her past.
I encourage you to continue praying and asking for God’s intercession and your wife’s enlightenment for I am very sure God will honor your desire and will eventually lead your wife back to you. Here is a verse that you can hold on to: “The prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16).
God bless you.
Reng Morelos gave up her corporate job years ago to become a fulltime wife and mom. She tremendously enjoys her “job” as driver and yaya to her two younger kids. She supports her husband, Hermie, in his ministry as president of the Light of Jesus Family. She has been with LOJ since 1981 and once handled the single sisters of the community.
*This article was taken from Kerygma magazine February 2009 issue. If you want to subscribe to K magazine click here or call us at 725-9999.
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