By Cybill Bayto
Loneliness—it’s a word that most of us think of when we talk about being single.
“Are you still single?” a friend asked. I nodded. Then the follow-up question:
“Why?” I’m telling you, if you are asked the same questions, you feel like you need to explain and defend yourself, as if singleness is a problem that needs to be solved soon. How about you, are you single? How do you feel about it?
If you asked me three years ago, I would say, “I feel incomplete.” I thought when I find the right one, maybe I would feel better and say, “Mission accomplished!”
But I was wrong. It is quite different from the mission that I believe God has given me. Fr. Bob McConaghy wrote it beautifully in his book titled Deeper, “All of us have died many times, not to hurt us but to open us up to something that no one could have explained to us until we experienced it.” The “dying” he was referring to—I felt that. I died to myself and let go of the belief that being in a relationship can solve it all. But I just didn’t see my worth as a person and I’m trying to find it somewhere else.
Being single is not a waiting season for the right person to come into our life. Rather, it is the season of learning how to love ourselves right. We can only do it best by seeking our Creator. Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Singleness is not a feeling but a blessing.
My joys in singlehood started when I decided to follow Jesus with all my heart. It’s not easy to follow Him. We are not exempted from the troubles of the world when we follow Him, but Jesus promised that we will find rest for our souls when we come to Him, for His burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30).
Imagine how Jesus does the heavy lifting for you, and as you carry your cross with His help, you can accomplish anything that is aligned to His teachings. Then, you realize that your cross becomes lighter because your relationship with Him is getting stronger. You never thought of finding the happiness you are looking for by carrying your cross. It is an out-of-this-world kind of joy that only Jesus can give us.
This is the joy that I’ve been experiencing in this season of singleness—the joy of dying to my worldly self and wanting nothing but to learn about the lavish heart of God. I never thought I would want His will for me more than my own.
Whatever you are going through, God knows it well. He knows your heart and all that you are. He is happy when you find comfort in Him. He cries when you cry, and He wants nothing than for His beloved child to come back home to Him.
In times of triumph or trouble, we need to declare God’s goodness. The now, no matter what, is part of the joy that will come tomorrow, and that joy is greater than the victory that we have already experienced. In Jesus’ mighty name.
*This excerpt is taken from FiSH magazine V.18.01 | 2020
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